Tags » ‘Success’June 3rd, 2010 by selfimprovementmommaI recently spent a couple of days with a client here in the Alps – someone who would view his personal development as his number one priority in his life, someone who has altered his daily routine, going to bed one hour earlier to give himself an extra hour each morning for meditation. He has been regularly meditating for up to an hour each morning for the last couple of years. The benefits? His fitness and health have greatly improved. His mental focus at work and at home has become laser-like and he has recently discovered a new-found creativity – in terms of news ideas and problem solving. He is on the crest of a wave. And, yet, a couple of months ago, he found himself confronted by a major career decision and, in the process, found himself reverting to the indecision and stress that had practically ruined his life some years ago, that had almost cost him everything. So, his point was this – why, when it came to the push, did his meditation have no effect in the rough and tumble of daily life? Well, for starters, he freely admitted that things would have even been a lot worse were he not meditating. As we both agreed, at the very least, he is one of a tiny minority of people who are fully aware of what they are thinking and fully aware when what they are thinking is unhelpful or destructive. But the key point is that, unless you put what you learn in meditation into the moment to moment living of your everyday life, you cannot get the downstream and all-important benefits of clarity, focus and presence of mind. Of course, you don’t wait until something goes wrong to start putting what you have learned in meditation into practice – you do it when things are just normal. It’s just the same as training for a big match – you train in advance to ensure that you can play your best on the big occasion. This training consists of regularly checking your state of mind throughout the day – every day. If things are simply running normally, chances are that your mind is wandering and distracted – after all, this is the normal adult default state of mind. Research proves that the average adult pays just one percent attention to what is happening when all is running smoothly. Obviously, this level of commitment to your life is not sufficient to have a great life – and this is why most people tend to be “not-too-bad”. Therefore, the ordinary of everyday life presents us with the perfect training ground. Simply stop yourself at various points during the day and become aware of whether you are clear, present and focused or not – the way you feel when you meditate will be your benchmark for comparative purposes. If you are not in a clear and present state of mind, bring yourself back to that state by coming back to now. Practically speaking, this means that you take a few moments to pay full attention to the moment – you could stop and focus your sight, feeling, hearing, senses of smell and taste on what is actually going on, or you could simply take and fully notice a few deep breaths. Our contact with the here and now – and the opportunity it presents us with to live our ordinary lives extraordinarily – is through (and only through) our five senses. You need to come to your senses! And, if you do this when nothing difficult is happening in your day, you will be fit and ready to be at your best when things actually do go wrong. May 20th, 2010 by selfimprovementmommaA few weeks ago, the New York Times ran a series of articles entitled “Driven to Distraction” – all about how road accidents are mostly the result of not paying attention. And now, Loughborough University in the UK has just published research that indicates how we are distracted from what we’re trying to do by texts and emails. The research indicates that most are replied to immediately – often within six seconds. What were you supposed to be doing when you saw the text or email? Is the email or text important? Is it relevant to what you’re supposed to be doing? Has it got anything to do with your top priorities in life? Do you even have a clue as to what they are? This is the brain-dead behaviour that has normal people drifting aimlessly from one day to the next – wondering why life isn’t absolutely great. I’ve news for you, life will never be great until you do something about it – and it starts with ignoring the distractions that are getting in your way. You’re wasting your time, throwing your life away. But hey, no worries, it’s normal, everybody’s doing it. I’ve more news for you – everybody’s mad. Research that proves it – more than seven decades of it proves that people are unable to focus on what they’re doing, are unable to pay attention to what is actually going on, perform their routine tasks habitually and mindlessly and wander through the motions when it comes to living – that’s not living, that’s just about existing. The bad news is that we’re built to be distracted. We are host to roughly 50,000 random thoughts each day, some just stupid distraction, some seriously self-destructive. Mindless and distracted are our default settings. The normal mind is like a virus-ridden hard disk. The malware infected our system when we were young and impressionable, when we lapped up all manner of nonsense that was foisted upon us – work hard to be a success (rubbish), you need to better yourself (no you don’t, the inner you is pure perfect energy), life is full of ups and downs (yes, but you don’t have to go up or down with them). And now, years later, not only are you still subconsciously paying attention to all that crap – now you’re being bombarded by texts and emails as well! For the good of your own life, you’ve got to have to learn how to focus your mind, how to pay attention – not in a general sense but in a very specific way. You’ve got to pay attention to now – it’s the time and place where the real world is, the only time and place where life is lived. Start training your mind to focus – and that simply means seeing, feeling, hearing, smelling and tasting what’s going on – recognizing a distraction for what it is, recognizing the important stuff that needs to be done and just doing it, recognizing that you alone are the one who can take real action to change your life. Your personal effectiveness, your success, your life are in your own hands – grab a hold. May 20th, 2010 by selfimprovementmommaWe’re all called upon to be leaders – if you have children, direct reports in work, friends who confide in you – Leadership is required of you. You mightn’t call it that, but that is what it is. More importantly, we’re called upon to lead our own lives. Yes, leadership is called for and few wish to shoulder the responsibility. The normal person will look to someone else – if not for leadership, then for blame. It’s the bankers’ fault that my business is suffering – it’s politicians’ fault that my lifestyle has deteriorated – the system’s unfair, that’s why I didn’t get promoted. Pull yourself together – start promoting yourself! Surely you’re meant to take the lead in what is, after all, a lifetime for which you can write your own screenplay. However, what does it take to be a leader? How do you write your own script to create the life that you want? Well, surprise, surprise, the answer to both questions is the same! It takes presence – the hallmark of extraorindarily successful people, the very essence of leadership. And the good news is that we can all develop our presence no matter how crap you think that you might be – if you’re struggling with a lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem or poor self-image, get real, they’re all figments of the normal mind’s obsession with paying attention to everywhere except where life’s actually happening – the present! This is how you develop what people call presence – there’s no magic formula, no big secret. Psychological research has determined that your ability to be happy and successful – and your ability to be impressive – is related to how you pay attention! Yeah, it really is that simple – focus on what’s actually going on and you’ll excite parts of the brain that are only ever otherwise activated when you experience a natural high. In other words, turn yourself on – tune in to the only place where life can be lived – the Now – because tuning in tunes out all the crap in your head that has conned you into believing in your own inadequacy. Tuning in requires that you actually see what’s going on now for what it is – it means coming to your senses – in other words, seeing, feeling, hearing, smelling and tasting the reality of the moment – not peering through the crud-covered window of your own sick mind (no offense meant and, I hope, none taken, all normal minds are sick). And, guess what, if you bother your ass to turn up to the present moment, you’ll be head and shoulders above all the normal people on this planet. You will be present – and, if you are present, you will have presence – and the rest is up to you. May 14th, 2010 by amauserStanley began drinking excessively when he was a freshman in high school. Fortunately for him, although he drank excessively when he was an adolescent and a young adult, when he got beyond the age of twenty-five he almost always drank in moderation. After he completed his education he eventually got a job at a local pet food manufacturer where he worked his way up from stock person, to office assistant, to purchasing assistant, to purchasing agent. Unlike his other work positions, as the purchasing agent he time after time took potential vendors and existing vendors to lunch and to a variety of sporting events. Alhough it was not written in concrete, meeting with existing vendors and potential vendors over and over again involved circumstances in which alcohol was present. In point of fact, over the past sixteen months, Stanley had started to greatly increase his work related and his social drinking. This has resulted in a predicament. To be exact, the more successful he became as a purchasing agent, the more heavily he began to drink. His Increasing Feelings of Depression Also Made Him Question Whether He Was Becoming Addicted To Alcohol In truth, it didn’t take long at all before Stanley’s irresponsible drinking began to negatively affect his health, the money in his savings account, his relationships, his mental health, and his work efficiency. After many weeks of excessive drinking, Stanley, as a matter of fact, began to get nervous about his irresponsible and careless drinking and wondered if his alcohol related problems were alcoholism signs. What is more, his increasing bouts of depression also made him wonder if he was becoming an alcohol addicted person. In short, Stanley obviously needed to learn more about the facts about alcohol abuse and alcohol addiction. Stanley Needs Alcohol Detox and Alcohol Rehab For His Alcoholism and Treatment For His Depression So Stanley used his reasoning skills, called his doctor, and scheduled an appointment for a complete physical examination. A week later after seeing his family doctor, Stanley unfortunately found out that he was dependent on alcohol. His healthcare professional told Stanley that he needed to get alcohol detoxification and alcohol rehabilitation for his alcoholism and that he also needed to get a medical evaluation regarding his depression. In a word, Stanley needed treatment for his alcoholism and depression. The Good News is That After His Treatment For Depression and For Alcohol Addiction, He Felt Like a Different Individual His doctor suggested to Stanley that he request a 30 day leave of absence from work and get registered into a quality in-patient alcohol treatment program where his depression could also be treated. This is specifically what Stanley did. Fortunately after his treatment for alcohol addiction and for depression, he felt like a different individual. Indeed, now that he was sober he hardly ever got depressed and he now understood how to more productively and efficiently manage his job, his health, his relationships, and his finances. Not unexpectedly, the most challenging “test” Stanley ran into was at the office. Simply put, he still took potential vendors and his existing vendors to various sporting events and to lunch, but after his alcohol rehabilitation he was able to stay away from drinking while entertaining his clients. Interestingly, Stanley also discovered that none of his existing vendors or potential vendors thought any less of him because of his non-alcoholic lifestyle. To the contrary, he learned that his existing vendors and potential vendors respected him for staying strong to his convictions. After Stanley went through alcohol treatment, however, he discovered that he was an individual who for whatever reason, could not drink in moderation or drink responsibly. In point of fact he learned the hard way that if he stayed away from drinking, all of the other significant parts of his life would be enhanced. Every once-in-a-while, Stanley missed drinking, but the better finances, work performance, health, and the better relationships he experienced more than offset his love of drinking. May 1st, 2010 by selfimprovementmommaWe’ve all got bad habits that we would like to give up – but the point of this short article is that all habits are bad! Sure, you might have heard of books like “The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People” or even the sequel about the eighth habit! – but there is simply no such thing as a good habit. If you stop to think about it for a moment, everything that you do is done habitually – from brushing your teeth to the way that your dress yourself, to driving your car, to saying “Hi” to the same people every day. Your life is one long string of habits – and, of course, that’s no bad thing – God knows rush-hour traffic is bad enough without us all having to relearn how to drive every morning! But the problem with habitual behaviour is that our minds are very cleverly designed to enable us perform our routine tasks without having to pay them any attention. “Great! That means that I can think about the day ahead while driving to work” (but the majority of accidents take place within a short distance from home because of this kind of behaviour) or “I can mentally run through my To Do List while I’m having my shower!” (many people tell me that doing this stresses them out before they mange to dry themselves). Habitual behaviour poses a huge problem for you and me, because we pay what we’re doing no attention, our subconscious mind wanders – and it always wanders to the same place – the dim and distant past where you picked up the baggage that you’ve been dragging around all your adult life. As a matter of course, this is where your subconscious mind lives – amongst the old photos of the childhood events that lead you, now in your adult life, into believing that you’re inadequate, or stupid, or a failure, or stressed out. Your childhood ”programs” are mugging you every single day of your adult life and you’re not even aware of it. Why? Because, having got so used to not having to pay attention to your habitual tasks, you’ve got into the habit of paying attention to nothing at all – and that’s a scientific fact. This is really bad news for us – because psychology confirms that our ability to be happy and successful is related to how we pay attention – and we can’t do it!
So the bottom life is that, if you want to change your life, you’ve got to start doing all the little things that you do everyday – differently. Tomorrow morning, brush your teeth with the hand that you’ve never brushed your teeth with – if you already do the two different sides of your mouth with the opposite hand, switch! Tomorrow, put the “other leg” into your pants first, the “other arm” into your shirt or top. Treat yourself to something different for breakfast (a friend recently realized that he’s had the same cereal for breakfast for the last fifteen years!) And forget your regular low-fat latte – be adventurous. Do something different for lunch (one of my clients told me that some work colleagues ate in the staff canteen, sitting at the same table, in the same chair, every single day for forty years!) You’ll be amazed at the benefit of doing little things differently. First off, you’ll realize that, in everything that you do in life (and that includes the really big stuff) you’ve got a choice – this comes as big news to everybody when they first realize it! Secondly, because you’ll be doing your little routine tasks differently, you’ll have to pay them more attention than the none that you normally pay. What that means is that you’re going to start learning how to pay attention – the key to happiness and success. February 6th, 2010 by selfimprovementmommaOf the many secrets to success, being a ‘Plan A’ person is perhaps one of the most fundamental of all. So, what exactly is a ‘Plan A’ person, and how can you tell if you are being one in every area of your life? First of all, lets consider what a ‘Plan A’ person is. A friend of mine, who is a perfect example of a ‘Plan A’ person, put it like this: “A ‘Plan A’ person is a person who’s plan B is that plan A works”. No ‘if’s', no ‘buts’, and definitely no plan B. Plan A works. Full stop. If you want to become a ‘Plan A’ person, then important lesson number 1 is to establish your plan A. You need to make sure that it is a good one too, as remember that will be no plan B as a back-up for it. Important lesson number 2 is to always, always stick to plan A. Every now and then life gets a little rocky, and when you come face to face with the obstacles that will inevitably arise you need to be resolute. Having just one plan is really to your benefit here as, when you have more than one choice, you stop to consider your choices and ponder on the best route to take going forwards. When that happens, you lose focus, and your original intentions become diluted at best, but more probably lost forever. Important lesson number 3 is to never change your plan A. Remember, that if you change your plan A, then it becomes plan B, and those are no longer allowed! So, now you know what a ‘Plan A’ is. The question now is how to change to be a ‘Plan A’ person. How can you step up from being a Plan B, C or even Z person? As they say, success breeds success and, likewise, ‘Plan A’ people breed ‘Plan A’ people. The alphabet only goes up to Z, so there isn’t even a proper term that describes me before I made the decision to become a ‘Plan A’ person. However, by making friends with, doing business with, reading the same books as, and following the same strategies as ‘Plan A’ people, it didn’t take me long to become one too. It really is as straightforward as emulating the successful people (who are invariably ‘Plan A’ people that you want to be like. If I can do it, then so can you. You’ve already taken the first step in the right direction, you now just need to keep going in that direction. Do that, and the success that you’ve always dreamed of will soon be yours!
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This article was edited and distributed by Mark Walters on behalf of Mandy Swift, who was the original author. More : Success Strategies | |