Tags » ‘Self Help’July 25th, 2010 by selfimprovementmommaRight now, you’re living new day – one that has never happened before, a day that will never be repeated. And now is a new moment. And, in each and every new moment, you have a choice. And on this choice depends your personal development. You have a choice in regard to the thoughts that you are paying attention to just at this moment in time. Are they random thoughts? Could they be negative thoughts? Are they relevant to what you’re doing at the moment? Maybe they’re positive thoughts (better than negative thoughts but thoughts nevertheless). The thoughts you’re entertaining are distracting you from doing. Stop wasting your energy, discard your thoughts, but leave room for the flights of fancy to rise to the top – because they’re not thoughts, but inspiration and inspiration only visits the clear minded. In this new moment, it’s your choice as to your behaviour and actions (more commonly reactions) too. And, depending on your choice, you can effortlessly change your life. How much energy have you literally thrown away already today? How much time have you frittered away sitting in front of your laptop, staring blankly? How much of your vital energy have you spent gossiping about and revelling in the misfortune or misdeeds of others? You’ve probably misspent some precious time shuffling you’re “To Do” list until there’s no time left to do! Or how much of your energy have you devoted to doing things you simply shouldn’t be doing – like surfing the net for things that have nothing to do with anything important, reading emails that were copied to you so someone else’s ass would be covered, wading through the sordid details of domestic violence that fill our daily newspapers? Every moment that you waste is a unique now you will never live again. And what we achieve in life is the sum total of how we spend our individual moments. At least, in reflecting on some of those questions you might begin to realize just how much of your energy is spent on things that will get you nowhere on your life’s journey. But these are energy-wasters that you’re aware off – there’s something even worse going on. How much energy are you wasting that you’re not aware of? Because, unless your subconscious mind is engrossed in meaningful activity in the present moment, it is still happily living in your childhood years, thinking that those childhood experiences are actually happening now – and you’ve no idea whatsoever that that’s what’s actually happening. And this is the waste of energy that separates us all from the possibilities of the now, from the reality of the now, from the abundance of the now. So, ask yourself this question. Would you like to change your life? Then ask yourself if what you are doing now, in the context of what you truly want out of life, is the very best investment of your energy. If it isn’t, don’t do it. July 23rd, 2010 by selfimprovementmommaThe behaviour of normal people is rarely appropriate. How could it be! Because normal behaviour is generated automatically – you don’t have to give it any thought, you just react – by your subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind is highly efficient at enabling you react – it is this ability that has got us so far as the ‘superior’ species. But, as I said, normal behaviour is rarely appropriate – because that same subconscious mind is permanently focused in the past – your formative years – and it uses this out-of-date ‘stored knowledge’ to dictate today’s automatic behaviour. With information that is so far out of date being used to enable you react, how could today’s behaviour be appropriate to what is actually happening now? How could it be right and proper when you consider that the normal person is permanently on automatic pilot? Unfortunately, it’s just the way we’re built. If you’re having a good day, your behaviour may be mildly effective – that’s in comparison to how effective you could really and truly be had you taken the trouble to pay attention and act, rather than react. But even then, normal people only have good days now and again. It’s the normal not-too-bad days that have consigned your life to that repetitive, mundane, not-so-bad life – you know, the one where good stuff almost never happens, the one where you don’t like your job or the one where your relationship has gone flat – the ordinary stuff of everyday life. And on those normal not-too-bad days, your behaviour can be anything from basically in-effective through inappropriate to completely outrageous. People losing their cool with the morning rush hour, people bullying their subordinates at work or playing with their workers’ lives. Husbands who beat wives, wives who beat husbands – or just the everyday not-so-bad apathy of ‘I wish I was somewhere else’ and all the stress that comes with that feeling. Our problem is that we confuse our behaviour with ourselves – a fatal mistake that leads us into recrimination, guilt, frustration, anxiety and even more inappropriate behaviour. You are not your behaviour. How could you be? Your behaviour is dictated by your personality – all the crap of ‘stored knowledge’ in your subconscious mind. Your personality has certainly little or nothing to do with you – there’s a wealth of psychological evidence amassed over the last seventy years to prove this conclusively. So here’s the deal. You can only take really appropriate action (rather than normal reaction) by consciously side-stepping your ego or personality – this is the essence of personal development (as distinct from personality development). However, you cannot do that until you come to terms with the absolute fact that every single inappropriate action comes from your illusionary personality. What’s done is done – if damage was done, go and sort the damage out. But if the only damage was to your own self-image, then, get forget it, it’s past, you need to get on with your life – starting right now. July 23rd, 2010 by selfimprovementmommaMuch has been written and said concerning the so-called ‘Law of Attraction’. It has become popular through DVDs and bestselling books, like ‘The Secret’ and by television talk-show hosts such as Larry King. And yet most do not comprehend what the aforementioned ‘attraction’ actually means. Could it be that you can attract into your life the kind of good things that you crave? And, if that’s what it means, how can you actually put the ‘Law of Attraction’ into action to change your life for the better? The first thing to understand is that the ‘Law of Attraction’ is at work in your everyday life as you read these words. This may be a big surprise for you but what you need to understand is that the life you lead is a perfect mirror image of what’s happening in your head. Unfortunately, much of what’s rattling around in the normal person’s mind is doing them damage rather than good because, left on its own, the subconscious mind is both negative and focused in the past, constantly ‘enabling’ you – and that’s obviously not the correct word – to keep repeating all the learned ways of behaving that are, right now, creating your reality. To put it bluntly, as a result of the normal mind’s inner turmoil, it follows that the normal life is also in turmoil. It doesn’t matter if you know[spin] [spin]this or not, the ‘Law of Attraction’ is a reality in your life. I’m not convinced, from reading some of the reams of stuff – often misleading stuff – on the subject, that many will have fully grasped the extraordinary importance of this situation. But say that you have. You already understand that, to quote ‘The Secret’, your thoughts become things – what occupies your mind manifests in your life. Great, you’ve grasped this all-important concept intellectually – but intellectually understanding these facts and being able to get this ‘manifestation’ working for you, rather than against you, is a whole new ballgame. If you don’t deliberately take action each day to make certain that you’re in the right mental state, then it’s of no consequence how much you understand the way life works, you’re simply conning yourself into the wonderfully cosy misconception that this ‘Law of Attraction’ can change your life in a positive way. To really practice the so-called “Law of Attraction” you’re going to have to clear your mind. There’s no point trying to fill your mind with thoughts of things that you want – no one knows for sure what they truly want. Better still to fill your mind with the only place and time we are – the here and now. If you do that, you will drag your subconscious away from its obsession with all that’s negative. You will become extraordinarily focused – effective, efficient, inspired and inspirational. In a clear state of mind you will attract the very best in life, enabling you rise to places that normal people couldn’t even dream of. July 16th, 2010 by selfimprovementmommaRead lots of self help books? Because I know plenty of people who are constantly reading, forever learning, endlessly searching, Unfortunately, however, it is not reading that changes your life, but doing. Continually reading self help books is just like collecting loads of holiday brochures and travel guides about some beautiful place that you’ve no intention of visiting! You’ve seen photographs, read all the reviews, imagined yourself relaxing on that beautiful white sandy beach, immersed yourself in the idea of having arrived. But, then, you’ll never pluck up the courage to buy the ticket. What’s my point? Reading about how to achieve the life that you really want and doing something about it are two entirely different things. Reading the feel-good stories about how others have changed their minds and, as a consequence, changed their lives, will give you that longing feeling inside. But tomorrow morning, when you drag yourself out of bed for another day of going through the motions, what has changed? Little or nothing! When wake up to another day of hassle, anxiety, financial shortage or low self-esteem, what good will all that books have done you? If anything, you’ll find yourself even more restless and more dissatisfied than you were at the outset. Reading, understanding and intellectually appreciating what it takes to change your life will make no difference to your life until you put what you’ve learned into regular practice. And here we encounter an obstacle that is simply too big for most normal people – they’re afraid to take what they think of as some risk-laden leap of faith. If you’ve been lucky enough to come across a self improvement book where you’re given step-by-step instructions on how to change your life (and they’re few and far between – most of them are ‘feel-good books’) then it should have dawned on you by now that you don’t need to make any leap of faith. All you need to take is take gentle steps, every day, that shake you out of the self-induced hypnosis in which most normal people are only existing. To change your life, you’ve got to change the way you’re living day to day at present. You start small – by doing something as simple as changing your morning routine – because small changes get your subconscious mind out of its comfort zone. Once out you will start to understand that absolutely everything in your life can be done differently. When this realization dawns upon you, you’re going to find yourself in a completely different place – where things that were otherwise unthinkable suddenly become obvious – and effortlessly doable. In other words, it’s you who has to start doing the things that will change your life, to stop reading and start doing. June 25th, 2010 by selfimprovementmommaHow many good ideas have you had that you just never did anything about? Ever noticed that some really successful people are where they are because they followed up on some really simple idea – the kind of idea that you say to yourself “I could have thought of that!”? In fact, we’re all struck by inspiration from time to time – it’s just that normal people will laugh it off as a flight of fancy. And that’s what makes normal people normal – that’s why so very few, who actually do something about their good ideas are abnormal – abnormally successful, exceptional people. So, next time you catch yourself wishing that your life were different – and if recent surveys in relation to just how much people don’t like their jobs are anything to go by, wishing your life were different is happening all the time – realize this: for your life to change, you must act yourself. You’re the one who’s got to do something a little different, a little brave and a little courageous. Not a lot – a little will do for starters. However, you’ll say to yourself that you’re not the kind of person who could set up a successful business or develop an new idea. You’ll say to yourself that you’re not the kind of person that takes risks – you’re not the type that would ever appear on the front of Fortune Magazine. But it’s only this defective thinking inside your own head that’s keeping you off the front pages of big magazines. It’s simply the pathetic little voice inside your own head that’s holding you back. Is your life not bad enough for you to take some positive action? Are you not uncomfortable enough to get up off your normal ass and start living instead of merely existing? Are you afraid that others will laugh at your ideas or the idea of you being a success? Don’t waste your time worrying what others are thinking about you – they’re not – they really don’t give a damn. You’re the one who has to lead your life – otherwise you’re just going around in ever decreasing circles. You’re the one who’s got to take action – otherwise your dying words will be “what was that all about?” It’s up to you to do something – and that something has to be done right now. There’s no point in waiting for a miracle – you’ve got to get the ball rolling yourself. So, today, do something different, do something brave – even if it’s only shaving with the hand with which you don’t habitually shave! Once you do even something insignificant differently, you’re setting your mind up to do many things differently. And until you do some things differently, nothing different will happen. June 12th, 2010 by selfimprovementmommaA good friend recently suggested one of his favourite self-help books to me – it was the most recent in a long list of recommended reading. In discussing it with him, I enquired as to how he was progressing putting into practice what he was learning from all his reading. It emerged from our conversation that, in fact, he was a life-long student of self improvement but was unlikely to ever actually take the plunge. He informed me that a friend of his had suggested to him that he “stop reading all the books and starting doing it!” Bookshops are full of personal development books. This is big business – apparently the fastest growing sector of the publishing market. Also, personal development websites abound – offering all types of inducements to buy their package which will change your life in five minutes! None of these websites, packages or books will change your life. They might well point you in the right direction, provide you with an understanding that had been absent from your range of experience or knowledge or give you concrete suggestions on how to get more out of life, change your life, transform yourself or whatever. Undoubtedly, there is some excellent information available – and some innovative and practical personal development online help – but it will be no use to you if you don’t put it into practice for yourself and keep putting it into practice. It’s down to you to change your life. Only you can grab control of the awesome inner power that is simply waiting for you to muster up the courage or energy to unleash it. The interesting thing is that most of the advice provided by websites or books requires very little work of you, demands that you make only very minor alterations to the manner in which you use your mind. Sadly, however, having been in this business for over fourteen years, I have seen far too many people who will not take five minutes each day to make the other twenty three hours and fifty five minutes so much better. And this leads me to the main point – one that I’ve already alluded to – you have to keep putting what you learn into practice. No book, program or package will change your life in five minutes. You won’t change your life in five minutes. However, five minutes each day is an entirely different proposition – if you make or take the time to make sure that your mind is up to speed every morning then your life is going to change beyond all recognition. Psychology tells us in no uncertain terms that normal people perceive only what they expect to perceive and experience only what they expect to experience – that the normal life is created by the sadly closed normal mind. Open your mind every morning, change your expectations and you will change your life. But, at the end of the day, it’s entirely up to you – no one else is going to do it for you. | |